Liking

People prefer to say yes to those they like — and liking is built through similarity, compliments, and cooperation.

Robert CialdiniInfluenceeasyRapport

Cialdini''s research showed that simply being more likeable measurably increases your closing rate, even on identical offers. Three reliable drivers: similarity (shared backgrounds, interests, or even small mannerisms), genuine compliments (specific, behavioural, not flattery), and cooperative framing (we vs. them, joint problem-solving language). The negotiation use: invest the first 5–10 minutes deliberately, find one true point of connection, and acknowledge something specific you respect about their work or position before any substantive ask.

Example

You

"I noticed in your Saadiyat case study that you did the same brass-substrate detail we''ve been refining. Most procurement people don''t register that level of finish — the fact that you do tells me a lot about how this build is going to be specified."

Counterpart

(visibly warmer) "You''re the first vendor to mention that. Most just send a price."

When to use

Use liking-building moves in any first encounter, in long-cycle B2B negotiations, and especially across cultural lines where rapport is the gate to substance.

When NOT to use

Don''t fake it — false similarity reads as manipulation and is hard to recover from. Don''t over-extend it past 10–15 minutes — at some point the counterpart needs you to get to the point.

How to counter this

Acknowledge the rapport explicitly and reset the frame: "Thank you — and now let''s look at the numbers, because the rapport doesn''t change what works for us."

Related dimensions

Rapport Cultural Competence Value Articulation

Practice drill

Before your next first meeting, identify one specific, non-obvious thing about the counterpart's work that you genuinely respect. Open with that observation in under 30 seconds.

Practise this technique

When to use, when NOT to use, how to counter, and a practice drill — free forever.

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